Trying to find comfort and meaning in the everyday. Maybe that's where my joy will be....especially as we parent these 3 beautiful kids.

Maybe all this sitting at God's feet is preparing me for the life I need to put on hold as we live for these kids right now (and for the next 18 years, if that is God's will).

For the first 7 years of the church we helped plant and open its doors, I gave of my time and energy as often as possible.... and LOVED it! It really was joy-giving to me to serve others - at church, in their homes, at work. And the best part about it was I never wanted anything in return - I always told people "if I HAD to do it, I wouldn't do it". And I went to bed looking forward to the tomorrows.

Now, it seems the tables have turned....and I (Sean as well) are on the receiving end. It's a weird place for me to be. Having 3 kids and having people do things for us and serve us all different ways....it's a strange thing. But one of my friends recently mentioned that over the years of having her small kids, she served them. Now that they are older, she is serving others and giving back. I guess since Sean and I didn't have kids over the first 14 years of our marriage, we served first and now need to serve these kids we have - and occasionally serve others as possible. As much as I "get" that, it still seems to go against the grain of who I am....or who I was before. So, I'm trying to reconcile this - who I was before and who I am now (post-SA). South Africa changed a lot in me...I just need to figure out what exactly changed and how I apply it now in my every day life. Fun, fun, FUN!