Not sure what to write about this week. It was a hard week, full of ups and downs with regards to "is this for us?" (being foster parents, not knowing if these kids will become ours or not). Both Sean and I are either going through remorse of losing the freedom in the life we have known for 14 years of being kid-free OR struggling with whether or not this is what God has for us (being parents of 3 small children). It's a frustrating time with bits of joy thrown in there too. The kids are some of the best we could ever ask for, coming out of the foster system. They are well behaved, they love each other and truly seem to be happy and joy filled kids.

So, we've got some terrific kids who try our patience more often than not as we transition into parenthood. And the juggling of visits with birth-mom and now a weekly visit with birth-dad, adds to the fun as well. There's so much that is out of our control; so much we have no idea about. The social workers say we are doing so well with them and with what is happening. We certainly are not working in our strengths it seems. I've heard, that as parents, our worst side and characteristics tend to come out not just in us, but also in our biological kids. So this could all be normal....but regardless, we need to start feeling like this is "for us" real soon. We, FOR SURE, do not want the kids to be put back into the system. But we would love to see mom back with her kids. The mom and the kids have such an amazing bond and love for each other. It's hard to see that end for them. Argh!!! So much confusion and so many unknowns.....YOWZA! Praying that it all makes sense soon. �