Over the three and a half years we were in South Africa we learned about taking on a leadership posture of “Contending.” A poor “Cliff-Notes” explanation of the Contending Posture would be something close to standing in the gap of injustice defending or advocating for someone unable to defend or advocate for him or herself, or needing assistance in doing so. Defending or advocating for someone in this way could happen as a response to a legal or societal issue, such as someone being arrested for something they didn't do, or some law which prevents them from receiving a liberty commonly received by others. Contending could also be in response to a physical, psychological, or spiritual issue keeping a person from enjoying life as God intends, like a disability or an addiction.

While in South Africa, contending for someone else happened as we cared for the needs of the homeless, the pregnant teenager, the working poor, and those in our immediate and extended community attempting to address their personal challenges. When we returned from the states, I immediately pursued ways of putting the contending posture and the other five postures of a missional leader into practice. The results have been remarkable, especially in regards to the success of the weekends at Long Beach Rescue Mission and my work as a hospice chaplain caring for the spiritual needs of the terminally ill and their families.

Something different has happened in our understanding of the contending posture since we began foster parenting, however. From an outside view, it would appear as if we are the defenders and advocates of these children. The problem is, we’ve found we have little to no voice in what is in the best interest of these beautiful children, so our ability to contend for them is limited to their daily care. Of course, we know the value of such care, but in regards to what may happen to them in the future, we have no voice. And, what’s ironic is those who do have a voice are completely detached from the children. Granted, they receive copies of the reports we complete, and the reports from the social workers who visit our home periodically and monitor the bio-parent visits, but beyond that, they have no idea who these children are outside of names, genders, and ages.

Here’s an observation I’m struggling with, yet starting to understand. These detached social workers and attorneys are contenders, and, as much as I hate to admit it, they are exactly where they need to be in order to defend and advocate for these children in their best interest. I’m starting to realize, in such a system in which we are enmeshed, there are different roles of contending. In South Africa we learned to contend across the spectrum of these roles, but I really only functioned in the role these social workers and attorneys are functioning in, on behalf of these kids… in a more detached way, only periodically willing to enter into the social justice issue with the relational depth we’ve taken on with these children. These social workers and attorneys appear to be defending and advocating for these kids with the micro-managed direction of their superiors based on previous court decisions and their theoretical perspectives, which, as much as I struggle with it, gives them the purview that allows them to make more objective decisions.

We, on the other hand, are positioned to offer subjective perspectives on behalf of the kids. Being so close to the children everyday, we are able to communicate both emotional and behavioral activity and development that could greatly affect the objective perspectives of the social workers and attorneys if given a voice. For this reason, we filed for and were granted “De Facto” parenting status with the court. With de facto status, we are able to have an attorney in court to represent and communicate our perspective. We’ll be meeting with the attorney on Monday for an initial consultation.

I’m beginning to understand that, in order for justice, real justice to take place, there is need for the full spectrum of contending to happen. There needs to be those who are deeply entrenched relationally with those who are needing defense and advocacy. And, there needs to be those detached from relational connection of those needing defense and advocacy, who can contend objectively on their behalf.

I have NO idea how this process will play out for these kids. Each and every day pushes our emotions and perspectives on what is “best” for these kids in a different direction. Which is another reason why having an attorney to hear our voice will be of such great assistance. Having someone with some objective vision and understanding of this foster system to help us see what’s going on will, hopefully, ease the angst we’re subjected to as we move forward.

Knowing we have family and friends like you contending for us relationally, emotionally, and spiritually makes ALL the difference in the world for OUR well being while we attempt to do the same for the kids! Thanks again for ALL you do in this season of our lives!